


Cesar

by skamsnake



Series: Elu Drabbles [3]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: AU, Alternative Scene, Confrontation, Drabble, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, tiny bit of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-11-04 11:17:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17897426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skamsnake/pseuds/skamsnake
Summary: “No! No you don’t!” he yells out, his feet moving as if by their own will, eyes fixed on Eliott and his elbow drawn back ready to throw a punch.Or, what could’ve happened at Chloé's party and onwards in a parallel universe.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was hoping for a bit of a confrontation between Lucas and Eliott that fateful night at Chloé's party so yeah... here it is.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

 

 ***

 

“No”

It’s barely more than a whisper and his first instinct is to flee. To get the fuck out of there. But _no_ . In a parallel universe Lucas number twenty-one might have run off but not now, not like this. _No fucking way._

“No!” his voice suddenly raised from a whisper to full on shouting within seconds.

“No! No you don’t!” he yells out, his feet moving as if by their own will, eyes fixed on Eliott and his elbow drawn back ready to throw a punch.

Eliott moves faster though and dodges the punch, Lucas’ fist ramming into the wall behind him in full force.

“Lucas?” Eliott sounds surprised, maybe even a little scared, staring down at him wide-eyed. “Your hand-“

Lucas looks down for a moment. There’s blood but he feels numb.

“No you don’t get to do this!” Lucas shouts, his broken hand pressing into Eliott’s chest, pushing him back against the wall.

For a brief moment he lets himself think about how much he’s missed this feeling, how much he’s been _starving_ for it. The feeling of his hands pressed up against Eliott’s chest, playfully rolling them over on the bed or pressing down on top of him as they grind against each other. Not like _this._ Not _pushing_ him and _punching_ him, but he can’t seem to bring his hands to stop, tears pooling in his eyes and right now he couldn’t care less about Lucille and who else is watching.

“You don’t get to trick me out like this and then just bail on me!” he cries out, hands now coming up to grab the collar of Eliott’s jacket.

“Lucas, should we talk somewhere else? Somewhere private?” Eliott gently wraps his warm hands around Lucas’ fingers where they’re curled into the fabric, his thumbs brushing soothingly over the knuckles on his healthy hand but it stings just as much.

He can barely see from the tears streaming down his face, but he senses a crowd starting to form behind him.

“ _Private_?!” Lucas snorts and pushes at him again, though he can’t seem to let go of Eliott’s jacket.

“You wanna talk in private _now_? Now that you’ve outed me to my roommates, to your girlfriend, fucking _kissed_ me at school for everyone to see - _now_ you wanna be private? Fuck you!”  

He’s full on sobbing now, and he doesn’t have the strength to push back when Eliott wraps his arms around him, clinging to him like the ground is about to disappear under their feet.

“Could you leave, please?” he hears Eliott shout at the whispering crowd behind him, his voice shaky.

“Eliott, seriously... _This_ again?”

Lucas can barely hear Lucille’s catty words over the loud thudding of blood rushing in his ears.

“You too, please leave” Eliott speaks over his shoulder and turns his back to her, still holding Lucas close.

They stay like this for while, Eliott’s arms wrapped tightly around him until everyone has left, until Lucas feels he can breathe again, until he starts to sense the cool winter air on his skin and the pain in his broken hand. In his broken heart.

“I knew it” he says, wriggling free of Eliott’s strong hold and wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “I knew you would do this”

“Do what?” Eliott asks confused and when Lucas finally manages to look up at him, he can tell he’s been crying too.

“You just used me, didn’t you?” he speaks through gritted teeth, trying to fight back fresh tears. “To live out your little pretentious piece of shit movie” he says and Eliott’s face falls.

“Lucas, I would never-“

“It’s my own fault anyway” he interrupts, looking away. “Should’ve known I couldn’t trust you with that Ceasar bullshit” he mutters, taking a step away from him.

“What?” Eliott reaches for him, but Lucas swats his hand away, flinching a little when his bruised knuckles brush over Eliott’s sleeve.

“He came, he saw, he conquered, I guess” Lucas shrugs and laughs humorlessly and Eliott looks at him wide-eyed, brows furrowed in confusion. “That’s your thing, right? On your insta? Cesar?”

“What, no?!” Eliott says, the frown across his face softening slightly. “You think I was playing you?”

“What the hell am I supposed to think?” Lucas sighs, gesturing at the wall where he had just been making out with Lucille, _with his girlfriend_.

Eliott looks down, biting his lip and even if it looks a little like regret, Lucas knows he’s probably just embarrassed to get caught redhanded.

“I know. I just-“

“Just leave me the fuck alone, will you?” Lucas bites back and turns to leave, forcing his feet to take one step, then another, then two more, even if it feels like he’s carrying a ton of bricks on his shoulders, even if it feels like his knees are about to give out under him.

“It’s code, Lucas” Eliott breathes out behind him, almost like he had been holding it this entire time, almost like he had to gather the strength to say it, the slight tremble in his voice making Lucas stop in his tracks momentarily.

“Cesar is an encryption technique. It’s code. _Polaris”_  Eliott’s voice cracks.

It sounds a little like he’s crying again, but Lucas really can’t think of a reason why he would and he doesn’t turn around to check.

“Bye, Eliott”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry! I fully intended to make this a happy ending, but last night’s clip killed me so yeah... lets drag out the pain a bit lol 
> 
> Come kick (or comfort) me on tumblr <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **srodulv started following you.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was waiting to see canon’s take on Lucas finding the insta, but they didn’t really show us, so here’s my take on it in this parallel universe.
> 
> Also, this got way too long for the drabble style I’m trying to keep it in lol so I added a third chapter which will upload before friday. 
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

* * *

 

**srodulv started following you.**

 

Lucas does a double-take and shoves his phone back in his backpack before the teacher notices. Whatever’s up with all these strangers following him lately, it’ll have to wait. He’ll just have to block the damn bot later.

 

 

**

 

“Hey watch it!” Lucas shouts as Basile drips paint all over his shoes from somewhere above him. 

He’s standing on a ladder, working on the top part of the mural and Lucas is already having second thoughts about this entire arrangement.

Attempting to paint anything with Basile and Arthur is one thing; pulling a b&e at school on a friday night to paint with Basile and Arthur is a whole other level of ridiculous. Still, Lucas feels his heart swell with how much his friends are really trying to look out for him, how far they’ll go to try to make him feel better.

At least this time, they’ll know when the night guard arrives to check the locks.

They sit down on the floor with the beers and snacks they brought with them, assessing their work and honestly it’s not much better than before. Arthur’s painted a giant rainbow across the wall but somehow managed to mix up the order of the colors. Basile’s mostly just written _Daphné_ in pink paint with purple hearts next to it and Yann has painted a football goal. Actually, it’s probably worse than before.

“So uhm… Still nothing from Eliott?” Yann asks tentatively, taking a swig of beer. 

“Yeah, what’s going on with you two? I haven’t seen him in forever?” Arthur asks curiously. 

“Nothing” Lucas states matter-of-factly.

“Nothing?!” Basile asks, looking way more interested than he should be.

“Nothing. Well.. he made me these drawings but-“ 

“Drawings? What drawings?” Basile asks, eyes big and mouth open like an excited puppy and it’s kind of annoying but also a little endearing.

Lucas fishes out both drawings from his pocket. He knows it’s kind of silly to carry them around. Still, it feels nice to keep them close. As a memory of what he got to have, if only for a moment.

Arthur takes the papers carefully and studies them like they’re some kind of historical collection of rare and valuable documents.

“He misses you, yes?” he asks, pointing to the right side of the one Lucas found in his biology book.

“No, that’s a parallel universe”

“A parallel universe?”

“Yeah it’s this thing-“ Lucas sighs, “nevermind”

“But-“

“It’s nothing” Lucas snatches the drawings from Arthur’s hand and stuffs them back in his pocket.

“But he calls you his _destiny_?!” Arthur looks baffled, and that’s kind of endearing too but also completely besides the point. It seems pointless to explain, they wouldn’t understand anyway.

“Still a parallel universe” Lucas sighs. He spent weeks getting over it. He doesn’t need the boys to rip open the wound again.

He brushes a thumb over his bruised knuckles. Healed on the surface, but still sore underneath and it’s left a mark there he’s pretty sure is permanent.

“Eliott probably just wants to hook up again and then go back to his girlfriend. Mika says that’s common with straight dudes”

“Lucas, I’m not above random hook-ups you know that” Yann says “But I’ve never in my life made drawings for someone I just wanted to fuck”

“Have you ever made a drawing at all?” Lucas smiles and raises an eyebrow at him, and Yann goes silent.

“Is that what I should do? Make Daphné a drawing?” Basile asks excitedly, “something to really show her how much I care? To really pique her interest? Like a true-to-size drawing of my-“

“No!” the others shout unanimously.

“Heart! I meant _heart_!” Basile shouts back, hands up in defence.

“I just don’t think he would make those, if he didn’t care about you, is all I’m saying” Yann shrugs.

“Yeah are you even sure he’s still with his girlfriend?” Arthur asks, opening another beer.

“Any leads on his insta?” Basile follows up, wiping his painted fingers off on the newspaper he’s sitting on before pulling out his phone. “I check Daphné’s insta every-“

“No” Lucas interrupts him, “his insta is just this weird puzzle.. It’s- I solved it and it’s just a campaign for this movie project he’s doing” he pushes himself up off the floor to start cleaning up their mess. “Really, it’s nothing”

“What’s the name? Of his insta? Tell me” Arthur says, phone in one hand and a handful of peanuts in his other. “I’ll decide for myself if it’s nothing, thank you very much” he continues, and Lucas can’t help but smile at how eager they all seem to try and convince him otherwise.

Lucas takes his phone out and locates the _enter_polaris_ account, then shows Arthur the puzzle he spent hours cutting in pieces to solve on some stupid app he downloaded, only to find it was just another reference to the movie. The movie he himself had foolishly enacted that night outside the tunnel in the rain, like a goddamn idiot. 

“To enter polaris trust.. _cesar_?” Arthur asks curiously, “What does it mean? Who’s Cesar?”

Lucas heart sinks thinking back to the last time he heard that word, the last time he saw Eliott. Saw his lips on Lucille, felt his own hand smashing into the wall next to Eliott’s face, the last time he felt Eliott’s chest against his own, the word’s _he came, he saw, he conquered_ playing on repeat in the back of his mind as if to mock him.

_Fucking Ceasar._

“It nothing, trust me. It doesn’t- None of it means anything. Just let it go” Lucas says, not sure if he’s talking to his friends anymore or to himself. He swallows and turns his back to them, pretending to be occupied with cleaning the brushes when really he’s fighting back tears. 

“Ceasar? Let me see” he hears Basile behind him, mouth full of potato chips. “Oh cesar, ha! Isn’t that just code?” 

Lucas turns around, recalling the final words from Eliott before he’d left him outside Chloé’s party.

_“It’s code, Lucas. Polaris”_

“What do you mean, code?”

“Cesar? Ceasar cipher? Encryption?” Basile frowns, a surprised looks on his face, like he just stated the most obvious fact. “Named after Julius Cesar? He used it. Well, at least according to Suetonius. It’s pretty basic actually, I guess it worked better back then because most people couldn’t read”

“Can _you_ even read? I wasn’t sure” Arthur laughs and Basile pushes at him.

“How does it work then?” Yann asks, typing on his own phone.

“You just substitute each letter by another letter some fixed number of positions down the alphabet, what you would call the shift cipher. There’s probably some app for it.” Basile shrugs, still speaking with his mouth full and Lucas has lost track of the conversation at this point. “It’s probably three, if we’re supposed to _trust_ Ceasar” 

“So I just _enter_ _polaris_ then?” Yann asks and Basile leans in to look at his phone, and Lucas has given up trying to explain why this is really all a waste of time.

“How do you even know all this?” Arthur asks surprised, “You can barely walk a straight line without falling over” he chuckles and Lucas smiles as their banter continues, reaching down to put the lid back on the cans of paint and pick up the news paper strewn all over the floor. 

“Lucas” Yann murmurs from where he’s seated somewhere behind him.

“Mmhmm”

“Lucas” he calls again, this time a little louder, and when Lucas turns around, Yann is still staring down at his phone.

“I think you might want to see this”

 

**

 

Lucas is on his scooter in minutes, drawings of sad racoons in darkness and behind walls, of pianos and chocolate bars flashing before his eyes along with Virginia Woolf quotes, one in particular stuck in his head.

_In case you ever foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you._

He’s got paint on his shoes and all over his hands, probably in his hair too, but he couldn’t care less. All he can think about is to get to Eliott. He doesn’t care if he’s with Lucille this very moment, he needs to tell him. Tell him that even if they can only be together in a parallel universe, that’s where he wants to be.

He’s got the whole thing planned out in his mind. How he’ll run up the stairs and knock on the door and Eliott will open, surprised but happy. Maybe even relieved. Lucas will say ‘Hi’ and Eliott will reach up and touch his hair like the last time he was there, probably finding paint in it. Then Lucas will push up on his tiptoes and kiss him. Kiss him with all he’s got. 

When Lucas finally reaches Eliott’s place and gathers the courage to walk up the stairs and knock on his door, it’s like time is standing still. Everything goes quiet and all Lucas can hear is the beat of his own heart and the rushing of blood in his ears.

He knocks again.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**

 

Lucas knocks a third time. Still nothing.

Eliott isn’t there. Of course he isn’t, why would he be? Why would he spend a friday night at home, when he’s got a girlfriend to spend it with?

Lucas sighs and slides down onto the floor. Looking up at the door, he recalls the last time he was here. The way Eliott had stopped him half out the door, for a moment making Lucas had wonder if he would close the distance between them and kiss him. If _this_ would be his first kiss. Well, the first kiss that meant anything anyway. Had felt a tingle from head to toe when Eliott played with his hair, maybe already imagining the hedgehog he would later draw for Lucas and leave on his pillow.

Lucas shakes his head and fishes out his phone to text the boys. Even if everything sucks right now, it feels good to have someone to tell. Someone to talk to.

 

**Srodulv just posted a photo.**

 

Lucas reads the notification, a small smile on his lips. He’d been too excited back at _le foyer_ to do anything but follow the account, too eager to examine all the posts in further detail. He unlocks it to take his time looking through it again.

The newest post is just a dark grey screen, probably posted by mistake, and he scrolls down to the first post, instantly recognizing the chocolate bar, _chelou_ printed on it in bright red letters and he can’t help but smile thinking back to the first time he saw Eliott at _le foyer_ , their first conversation at the bus stop, how he couldn’t take his eyes off Eliott, how Eliott had said his name with such intensity it felt like it had been for Lucas, and Lucas only.

He looks at the drawing of a piano, it’s keys seemingly drifting off and floating away and Lucas feels himself drift off to the memory of Eliott’s gaze piercing through him that night, the way it made him feel simultaneously exposed and completely safe, made him feel seen in a way he had never felt before.

_You’re surprising. I like surprising people._

Lucas scrolls up a bit to a drawing of a brain in a jar, _Lost & Found _ tagged to it and frowns a little at the posts surrounding it. There’s a sad racoon shrouded in darkness and a painting with a caption that reads _Man Underwater_ and he feels his stomach sink thinking back to Alex’ story about Eliott snapping in class. But then again, there’s also a drawing of raindrops with the caption _pas peur_ and it makes his heart flutter and his lips tingle with longing for the kiss they shared in the rain outside the tunnel that night, the many more kisses they’d shared back in Lucas’ _well Manon’s_ bed the morning after while Lucas shared his thoughts about parallel universes and Eliott his fears of making the wrong choices in life.

He looks at the raindrops again and even if it’s silly, a small part of him really wants to believe that _this,_ this right here, was Eliott overcoming that fear and choosing _him_ , if only for a moment.

_Pas peur._

But something had happened, if the sudden brick wall hiding a racoon is anything to go by. Something that made Eliott withdraw. He tries to remember as he scrolls up further, until he finds a drawing of a racoon kissing the bandaged paw of an angry hedgehog, spines out and all, and even if the memory still brings tears to his eyes, Lucas can’t help but smile a little. He knows what to do, not a shred of doubt in his mind.

_Pas peur._

He lingers at the drawing for a while, then scrolls through posts of a similar theme. A racoon rejecting his own attempted letters and throwing them in the trash. A happy racoon turned sad as he realizes the hedgehog he’s spotted in the crowd is actually just a fox, a _stranger_ , and now that the initial excitement of cracking the Cesar code and finding the account is starting to wear off, he notices how the posts get progressively darker.

He stops at a recent one of a distressed racoon on a boat, a barge maybe, lost of it’s anchor and drifting off to sea, a hedgehog standing helplessly on land. The caption just reads _peur_ and even though Lucas isn’t completely sure what it means, he feels a shiver run down his spine and a pinch in his chest.

He scrolls back up and opens the one Eliott posted minutes ago, the dark grey screen not telling him much, but the caption has him on his feet in seconds.

_Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness - Virginia Woolf_

 

 

**

 

Lucas is running like his life depended on it. Like Eliott’s life depends on it. He’s running so fast it hurts, a throbbing pain in his legs, a deep burn in his lungs, but nothing in the world could stop him now.

Not the sudden pouring rain, quickly soaking through his hair and his paint covered shoes. Not a locked gate, which he climbs with surprising ease. Doesn’t even notice the blow to his hip as he tumbles over it, probably leaving a bruise there. Doesn’t really think. It’s like he doesn’t have to, like his feet already know where he’s going.

Making his way down the deserted pathway of Le Petit Ceinture, quiet and dark, the only light in sight the one from his phone and he hopes that this time the battery won’t fail him.

The tingling excitement he’d felt the first time he was here with Eliott now replaced by heart wrenching worry and a sudden unwavering certainty of what is _right_ . That _this_ is right.

Only when he finally reaches the tunnel, still no sound or light in sight, does he stop for a moment to breathe, feeling dizzy and slightly discouraged wondering if perhaps this is all one big mistake.

“Eliott?” he calls out quietly as he takes a hesitant step into the consuming darkness of the tunnel, almost like he’s trying not to awaken the creatures of the night living in there, the pale light from his phone barely enough to illuminate his next step.

“Eliott??” he calls again, this time a little louder. “It’s me”

Silence. Then a nervous rustle, like a startled animal trying to decide whether to fight or flee.

“Lucas?”

A wave of relief washes over him, even if he barely recognizes Eliott’s voice, raw and hoarse like someone who hasn’t spoken in days, the light from Lucas’ phone now searching frantically across the walls and down over the ground, trying to locate it.

“Eliott!” he calls out again, only now hearing the desperation in his own voice.

Then, he sees them.

Ankles, in cropped jeans above dirty white trainers. Guiding the light upwards he sees knees tucked up against a chest, a messy head of hair resting on them, arms hugging legs hard almost like Eliott is trying to curl in on himself.

Lucas runs the last fews steps towards Eliott and drops down on the ground in front of him, careless of his own knees, of his phone crashing into the dirt, careless of the world outside and anything else but Eliott.

“I- I’m not-“ Eliott voice cracks, rocking slightly back and forth as if to soothe himself.

“Jesus christ you’re shivering!”

Without the light from his phone Lucas can only see the outline of him, but he can tell he’s only wearing a t-shirt. Lucas pulls off his jacket and wraps it around a sobbing Eliott, quickly deciding that even if the jacket’s wet it’s still better than nothing.

“How long have you been sitting here?!”

“Lucas, I’m ill” Eliott cries.

“You will be, if we don’t get you in some dry clothes, come on” Lucas tugs at his arm.

“No” Eliott pulls back a bit, his breath hitching. “I’m ill, Lucas. For _real_ ill. _Crazy_.”

Lucas searches for his phone on the ground next to him and picks it up, cradling the small light in his hand between them and Eliott looks up, eyes filled with tears.

“Eliott, I’m here-“

“I’m bipolar, Lucas!” Eliott shouts, pushing at him with no real force. He’s shaking now and Lucas can see the tears streaming down his face glistening in the light. “You understand?! You don’t- you don’t want me in your life, trust me.”

“Oh“ Lucas blinks, “But- but we can work through this, I know we can-”

“I’m not capable of love!” Eliott sneers through gritted teeth, but Lucas can tell he’s just trying to stay tough, trying to protect Lucas from whatever darkness he’s fighting himself.

“That’s not true” Lucas lifts a hand to stroke his cheek gently, sending a new stream of tears down Eliott’s cheek. He leans in, resting his forehead against Eliott’s.  “You love me. I feel it. I see it now”. He takes a deep breath.

“And I love you.”

Lucas just stays there for a while, softly caressing Eliott’s face with one hand, holding the light between them in the other, waiting for him.

“Maybe if-“ Eliott finally says, his voice wrecked with sobs, “Maybe if I had chosen differently- maybe in a parallel universe Eliott number 21 isn’t sick. But _this_ Eliott.. Eliott number _one_ , Lucas, he doesn’t deserve you-“

“Eliott, look at me” Lucas says firmly, cupping Eliott’s face and tilting his chin to meet his eyes.

“Do you remember that morning…” he takes a deep breath, “That morning, when we talked about choices and parallel universes? How, for every choice I make there’s a parallel universe where I chose a different path?”

Eliott is silent for moment, then breathes out and nods, biting his trembling lip as he tears up again.

“Well, I was wrong” Lucas says with new found confidence, still holding Eliott’s gaze. “Because _this_ , this right here? This is me choosing _you_ ” he smiles, softly caressing Eliott’s nose with his own before he whispers,

“This is me choosing you in this universe and in _every_ universe. Every single one, Eliott, if you’ll let me."

"Will you let me?”

 

**

 

“You ready?” Lucas gives Eliott’s hand a gentle squeeze, their fingers laced together in a tight grip.

He doesn’t know how long they’ve been sitting in the tunnel crying together and holding each other, but it doesn’t matter now. All that matters is that he found him, that they found each other, and he’s never letting go again.

He takes a step forward out of the tunnel, out of the darkness and onto the moonlit pathway of Le Petit Ceinture, the dark blue sky now clear and the fresh smell of rain in the cold night air. His arm stretched out behind him where Eliott’s still holding on to it, hesitating.

Lucas doesn’t need to rush him, just waits until Eliott is ready to take a step forward and join him in the light.

“Lucas?” Eliott says quietly as they make their way out of the park, leaning into Lucas almost like he doesn’t entirely have the strength yet to keep himself up.

“Hmm?” Lucas hums, tilting his head against Eliott to let him know he’s listening.

“I choose you too.”

 

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this lil parallel universe. I absolutely adore these two, and will have another AU coming up soon <3  
> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
